Just a thought.
decaf-ka:
Sartre once presented a scenario in which a peeping tom, gazing through a keyhole at a couple having sex, heard a floorboard creak behind him. In that moment that the sound entered his ear, he panicked. He had been spotted, there was no way to interpret the events in any other way than as they were. The shame sets in like a stone hurled at a pond.
However, in Sartre’s scene, there is no other observer. The floorboards creaked out of their own accord. This event, this immediate guilt although there was no-one to pass judgment on the peeping tom, is an integral part of everyone’s existence.
We are our own prosecutors. And executioners.
In German there is a proverb: “A guilty mind needs no accuser.”
(Source: eeecaf)
Managed to lock myself out of my Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/ameliamaus
I keep getting logged out and logged back into it but with a facebook account that I don’t use. Going to figure out where the password reset is in the morning as I’ve got new stuff for it.
I’ll probably start reusing this tumblr after a clean-up.
I’ve had no idea that I won something until today. This has been a surprizing encounter here. Also I sometimes regularly talk to Slunchy elsewhere but I don’t think they knew it was me that won the competition.
I’ve also picked up one of their Final Stage Commissions, which you can see here: http://slunchy.tumblr.com/post/103300930383/misterslunchy-first-of-the-newest-final-stage The people who’ve watched me this long, sent me nice messages and seen my artwork may recall the character.
I am alive.
I’ve spent this Sunday (23rd of February 2015, in case you’re reading this years from now) doing house-cleaning in an apartment I got from the local council after being homeless for half of 2013 and living in and out of a hostel for that time.
I’ve progressed with my Art Course but had to repeat from last year, I’m now in a top tier of other students. I’ve had more spells of depression that have came and gone, but lately been feeling positive and am going to amend my attendance record (Which is straddling at 66%) over the next three months to get what can be 94%.
My Art Tutors agree I have the skill to get into the HNC course (A Precursor to getting into University, which means I can apply for a degree in Animation & Digital Media immediately after getting an HNC award.) but my attendance has been shit this year despite my home life has been more stable, because holy shit, I’ve my own place now. All it took for me to make it thus far in life was for the Police to mistake my last place of residence as a drug den, letting me get unrailed from depending on my family for accomodation. It was a storm of crap while it lasted.
My Email is: R.Wulfe@Aberdork.net
I’m also on Pinterest as my College wants us to show off our artwork there, you may see some new pieces: www.pinterest.com/AmeliaMaus
I am writing this at 11PM, I’ve been doing laundry and dishes all day and just found my old student card in a drawer and wondered what I was in my student email. Reset password and I’ve barely been on five minutes.
I frequently worry over the petty notion of my self-image. In that I feel like I’m wasting my potential if I’m not leading a savvy gay lifestyle. Nevermind I’ve no idea where I’ll be sleeping in less than two weeks once my term with the B&B is over.
It’s rare I’ve had clothes I’ve bought myself, irrespective of price it’s more powerful to my psych, than the countless shirts my older relatives bought from Primark or some Carboot sale. It’s rarer I see the effort from exercise and hygene, in that I’ve noticed more definition in my arms and legs, not so much with my stomach which will need a combination of diet and cardio. But still thinks are looking up, as I grow more into young adulthood.
I just want my own space now.
